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Discovering it's all right to be single

If there is one thing I have had lots of experience in, other than living with a disability, it's life as a single male. Over the years, I have enjoyed the many fruits single life has to offer: Coming and going as I please, doing whatever I want whenever I want, flexible time on weekends to fulfill my coaching commitments and enjoying the kids I work with, hanging out and watching ballgames with the guys, and just enjoying myself. As a friend of mine once said, "Bolsey, what a life you have." I can't argue with that. I do have a great life and some of it is because I'm still single.

While it's true that single life has its advantages it can be difficult as well. Often I feel as if I am in the minority because when I look around it seems as if the majority of my friends and other people I associate with are either married or involved in a relationship, which gives me the additional feeling that maybe being single isn't all that it's cracked up to be. Then, I start asking myself, "Is it really OK to be single when everyone else around me seems to be married or involved in a relationship?" In times like these, I need to know it's all right to be single.

For me, hanging out with my friends who are single not only reminds my of all the perks of single life, but reminds me while it may seem that we are in the minority, we are still around and yes, it's all right to be single. These friendships also help me from the standpoint that although we are all single, each one comes from a variety of experiences and outlooks on life as a single person and we can help one another put things into perspective.

Although the majority of the singles I hang out with are males and I am also a male, I have found that females offer a perspective on single life that has been beneficial to me. Often single males and females help each other put things into perspective by pointing out something the other hasn't thought of. Just being around, hanging out, and engaging in activities with singles with a variety of outlooks has been beneficial to me over the years.

The idea of singles getting together just to talk or to engage in social activities has been around for years and is a powerful tool, which has helped many over the years. Recently, a few of our consumers at the Finger Lakes Independence Center brought this to my attention and we formed the Finger Lakes Independence Center singles group -- a non-dating, free of charge, social outlet for singles with disabilities, chronic pain, and chronic illness designed to bring individuals together through recreation and leisure. The group offers singles: A fun and exciting monthly activity decided upon by group members; a monthly event to look forward to; and an opportunity to meet and talk with other singles.

 

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Ithaca Journal, NY