Dating quickly and efficiently
Dating forum helps to connect single Jewish students with each other
More than a hundred undergraduate and graduate students put on their
best outfits and packed Hillel, the campus Jewish center, Sunday with
hopes of meeting their soul mates — or just having a good time.
The Jewish Awareness Movement (JAM) held its second annual "turbo
dating" event, which brought together Jewish students from schools
all over California, including USC, UCLA, California State University
Northridge and UC Santa Barbara.
Turbo dating, also known as "speed dating," is when an
even number of men and women get together in a room and have between
one to five minutes to meet one another. At the end, each person writes
his or her "dream three" in order of preference.
If a man and a woman both pick each other in the same order of preference,
a match is made and a moderator distributes contact information to
both individuals.
The purpose is mainly to provide a place where people who share similar
interests can meet one another.
"I kept hearing 'I can never meet a nice Jewish boy/girl' from
students, so I decided to do something about it," said UCLA Rabbi
Bentzion Klatzko, who brought JAM to USC this year to help students
learn and connect about the Jewish culture in a social and educational
setting.
"There is a statistic that the rate of divorce between couples
of different religions is 93 percent," he said. "This is
a way of bringing the Jewish community together and bringing the community
closer."
Klatzko called this year's event a "grand slam," saying
it was clear students were having a great time.
Judging by the noisy conversations coming from Hillel, they were.
"I had a really good time," said Nicole Khadavi, a student
at UCLA. "I came just for fun, not necessarily to meet someone,
and I ended up meeting a lot of nice and interesting people."
"It's really unique. You meet so many different people and you
only have to put down those that you like. This way, no one gets hurt,"
said Brett Tashman, a student at UCLA.
But, it's also important for participants to be realistic and practical,
said Charles Espalin, a psychology professor at USC.
"You don't learn much from speaking to a person for a minute,"
he said. "In a sense, it's a game, and the chances of a real,
authentic relationship developing are not very likely."
Yet out of the 15 matches that were made at last year's turbo dating
event, five of the couples are still together.
"I asked someone to come to the event and he told me no. I asked
him why not and he said 'I'm still with the person I met last year,'"
said Klatzko.
Klatzko said the success of the program is due in large part to the
fact that students meet one another in a comfortable environment without
any pressure to pursue a relationship.
"No one is put on the spot, and if a match isn't made, no one
feels like they were turned down," he said.
Nevertheless, many USC students said they normally would not participate
in such an event.
"I wouldn't do it," said Vivian Steiner, a junior majoring
in international relations. "Five minutes isn't long enough to
get to know a person. It's too short to even make a first impression."
"It seems almost like you're forcing a relationship with people,"
said Alicia Isom, a junior majoring in Spanish.
However, Klatzko said turbo dating is actually one of the most candid
ways of meeting a person.
"Who they are will come out in a short amount of time,"
he said. "The rawest and most honest aspects of a person come
out when they are put under pressure."
Despite the mixed reactions toward turbo dating, there's no disagreement
that it has become especially popular in the last few years, exemplified
in dating services such as Friendster.com, everyonesconnected.com
and other such Web sites.
"Turbo dating is a natural progression in dating," Klatzko
said.
Esplain agreed, saying turbo dating shows young people are looking
for new and innovative ways to meet new partners.
"Statistics show young people are waiting longer these days
to get married," Espalin said. "Trends seem to show they
are looking to have more relationships before settling down for marriage."
Espalin also said that Turbo-Dating demonstrates that people are
becoming much more open with their feelings.
"Turbo-Dating is evidence that people continue to be more direct
in letting others know what they want, or feel or like," he said.
Whatever its appeal is, it is clear that Turbo-Dating will continue
to attract people.
"I would come again," said Brett Exnowski, a student at
UCLA.