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Love 'clicks' for singles online

I am a woman seeking a man age 24 to 30 within a 20-mile radius. My idea of a fun date is loading up at the candy store, white-water rafting and playing trivia in a pub. I like to talk about the meaning of life, horoscopes, world politics and, well, nothing really in particular. My friends would describe me as “sometimes out in left field,” a “throwback” and “nobody’s fool.”

I am looking for someone with a few extra pounds, someone a little more than just a social drinker and a smoker who is trying to quit.

Welcome to the world of online dating, where becoming a member is easier than hoping to one day bump into Mr. or Ms. Right on the street, the el or at the local Caribou Coffee.

It’s a world where no Chanel makeup, no pliable pomade, no Seven jeans, no Prada purse and no witty pick-up lines are needed in order to make the right impression and to catch the eye of a potential partner.

Just like online shopping, online registration and online courses, the stigma of online dating has disappeared.

What was once said to be an activity for hackers and for those desperate to find someone, has now become accepted as an alternative form of finding romance in today’s high-paced lifestyle.

For many, after a night of bars and club-hopping, coming home broke, smelling like an ashtray and not being able to meet anyone of interest, the idea of online dating services is beginning to look more and more appealing.

With just a click of the mouse, the Internet allows for easy access to hundreds of potential soul mates’ profiles, pictures and backgrounds allingwithin the privacy of your own home.

The potential matches you end up receiving are more tailored; they are more compatible and appropriate for the characteristics you are looking for.

According to Kathleen Roldan, a spokeswoman for Match.com, most of the members on the eight-million-plus member site are college-educated professionals living in major metropolitan cities.

She said that the service has a team that screens each member’s profile, so that when the profile comes in, it follows the set guidelines and is appropriate for the site.

“As people are becoming more and more accustomed to using the Internet and having it help them in their day-to-day life, it would just make sense for singles to learn that this is a great tool to use to connect with other singles,” Roldan said. “What we hear a lot of is that the quality of the service is great. It’s a great group of singles.”

Lavalife.com, the online dating service with the red-hot ads featuring attractive, 20-something young professionals, states in their corporate fact sheet that the site has attracted more than 5 million members, exchanging 1.1 million messages every day.

The site’s growth is due to “its [focus] on commitment to help singles ‘click,’” and its “growing acceptance of technology-based dating services as a highly-effective means of meeting others—as opposed to more conventional approaches to dating.”

In comparison to a traditional matchmaking dating service like Great Expectations, or an online service like Match.com, Lavalife.com has a looser mentality.

Lavalife.com is directed toward a younger group, more open to dating and different experiences.

Singles on the site record a personal profile, which includes hobbies, interests and how they think their friends would describe them.

Everything is anonymous and self-contained so it offers a safer alternative to just giving out a number at a bar or club.

And just like everything else dealing with the Internet, an online profile has an immediacy that makes it easier than placing an ad in a paper.

Susie Hardesty—an event coordinator for Dating Directions in Columbus, Ohio, a dinner-dating service—online dating can also be a big waste of time, because you don’t know the intent of the person you’re e-mailing.

“I really truly feel that anything you can do is very good, just to get out there and be proactive,” Hardesty said. “But I think people can sound a lot better than they really are. Sometimes they are better writers than they really are in person.”

“I know a lot of my friends have wasted a lot of time e-mailing back and forth, and sometimes never even meeting the person, because, I think, their intent is just to have a little fun online, while the other person may have the intent to have a relationship,” she said.

Hardesty said that the way a person markets his or herself is important.

So by joining a free online dating service, you’re just asking to meet others who have also joined a “free” dating site.

“You’re probably going to meet somebody who’s really cheap. I mean, just think about that,” Hardesty said. “It just makes no sense, if you’re really serious.

“If another person is spending some money, then you know their intent is more serious. That’s a first consideration as far as how serious they are … it’s a qualifier, a way to screen people,” Hardesty said. “I think sometimes people are so safe behind that computer that they can be really rude and crude.”

But maybe for some that are looking for love on the Internet, that may be exactly what they want.

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